Same place, same time. Every week.

Usually two things are missing: repetition and invitation. Friendships tend to form through repeated, low-pressure contact with the same people — a weekly class, club, team or volunteer shift works far better than one-off events. Then someone has to suggest a small, specific plan outside the activity. Most friendly acquaintances never become friends simply because nobody does that.

Longer than most people expect. One widely cited study estimated around 50 hours together for a casual friendship and far more for a close one. The calculator shows how your weekly hours add up — with a steady weekly activity and a couple of extra plans a month, you'd reach about 50 shared hours in around four months.

It can't see real listings or events in your area, so it suggests the types of activity that fit your interests and schedule, and where to look: library and community centre notice boards, local council listings, sports and volunteer centres, local online groups and meetup platforms. You check what's actually running near you.

Often better than big social events. Activities with a built-in task — volunteering, a class, a team — take the pressure off conversation. Research on first conversations also suggests people tend to underestimate how much others enjoyed talking with them. If social anxiety makes everyday life hard, a GP or counsellor can help alongside the plan.

It's often the fastest route. Shared history is already there, and many people are genuinely pleased to hear from someone they've lost touch with. A short, warm message referencing something you shared and suggesting a coffee or walk usually lands well — no need to explain why you drifted.