Family & Kids · Child Behaviour
Attention-seeking? Fix.
Get short moments of positive attention through the day, ten minutes that are theirs, and a signal for when you're busy.
10
moments of attention a day
10
minutes of undivided time
5
parts to the plan
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One‑time purchase · Printable HTML · Ages 2–13
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Instant delivery to your emailThe Problem
Yelling doesn't work because yelling IS attention.
Telling off is still attention
Sighing, scolding and explaining all supply exactly what the behaviour was asking for.
Only the bad gets noticed
The times they played quietly went past without a word, and the interruption didn't.
It's worst when you're occupied
Calls, cooking and other siblings are when there's least of you to go round.
Not knowing what to let go
Some of it can be left alone and some of it can't, and the difference matters.
What you get
Everything you need to give the attention before it's demanded.
Short moments through the day
A few seconds each – a hand on the shoulder, catching their eye, saying their name warmly – given when nothing is going wrong.
Ten minutes that are theirs
Same time each day, they choose what you do, no phone and no sibling – small enough to keep up indefinitely.
A signal for when you're busy
Something wordless that means 'I've seen you and I'll be a minute' – so being occupied doesn't read as being ignored.
What to let go and what never to
Whining and repeated calling can be left alone; aggression, danger and genuine distress never are – with the line drawn clearly.
With more than one child
Separate time for each, at different points in the day, and how to answer the child who says the other one gets more.
Extinction Burst
Behavior gets WORSE before better (days 3–5). The child tests: 'louder worked before, maybe LOUDER works now?' Hold through. By day 7–10: the old strategy is abandoned.
How it works
From 'stop bothering me' to a child who doesn't need to in 2 minutes.
1
Answer 5 quick questions
Your child's age, what the behaviour looks like, when it happens, how you usually react, and how many children are at home.
~2 minutes2
AI builds your plan
Custom HTML with the daily moments, the ten‑minute ritual, the busy signal, what to let go, and how it works with siblings.
~30 seconds3
Start the ten minutes today
Same time tomorrow and the day after – it's the part that does most of the work, and the part most often skipped.
5 minutes to begin10
minutes a day that reduce the rest of it
10
moments of attention a day
5
parts to the plan
1
signal for when you're busy
Questions
Everything you need to know.
Why doesn't telling them off work?
Because being told off is still your full attention, and for a child who's short of it that's better than nothing. It's why the same behaviour keeps returning however firmly you respond. The shift is giving attention when things are going well, so there's less need to earn it the other way.
What should I never ignore?
Anything involving aggression, danger or real distress – hitting, hurting a sibling, anything unsafe, or genuine upset. Letting go of whining and repeated calling is a different thing entirely. If a child escalates to something dangerous to get your attention, that's worth talking to your doctor about rather than persisting alone.
Will it get worse before it gets better?
Often, for a while – a behaviour that used to work gets tried harder before it's abandoned. It's the point where most people conclude it isn't working and go back to reacting, which teaches that persistence pays. Expect a difficult stretch early on.
How does this work with several children?
Each child needs their own ten minutes, at a different point in the day, with the others occupied. It's more work, and it's also the thing that reduces the competing. When one says the other gets more, acknowledge the feeling rather than proving the maths.
How long before it settles?
Weeks rather than days, and it depends a great deal on how consistent the ten minutes are. If there's no change at all after a couple of months, or the behaviour is extreme, that's worth raising with your doctor rather than continuing on your own.
Reviews
Real families, really calmer days.
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