Stop the blush, stay calm.

Almost certainly not. It feels dramatic from the inside – heat, racing heart, mind blank – and from the outside it's usually a bit of colour that people either don't notice or don't think about. Some put it down to a warm room. Ask someone you trust, honestly; most people who blush are surprised by the answer.

Because the effort is itself tension, and tension is what drives it. It's why the opposite sometimes works: letting it happen, or even inviting it – telling yourself to go as red as possible. Most people find they can't do it on demand, and the attempt takes the fear out, which is the part that was keeping the cycle going.

With people you see regularly, a light mention often helps – something like 'I go red, I always have' – and then carry on. It releases the tension of hoping nobody notices. Don't apologise for it, and don't make a speech about it. With strangers, there's usually no need to say anything at all.

Alcohol, hot rooms, spicy food, tiredness and caffeine all widen blood vessels or raise arousal, so any of them can make it easier to blush. So does anticipating the situation for days beforehand. None of this is a rule – it's worth noticing which of them matters for you.

If it's affecting your work or your relationships, if you're turning down things you'd otherwise want to do, or if the fear of blushing has become a bigger problem than the blushing, that's worth talking to a doctor or a therapist about – there are treatments with a good track record, and going early tends to work better than waiting. Also worth a doctor's opinion if your face flushes often without any social trigger, since that can have a physical cause. This guide is self‑help; it isn't a substitute for either.